I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
