I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
time to smoke my breakfast
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
