Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize