Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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