he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize