forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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