What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
