they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
