No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
