Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
