She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
