sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
