Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
