Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
