Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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