the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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