Moan for me like Helen Keller
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
