do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
