Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
