So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
