standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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