would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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