I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
