Dude my mom stole all your condoms
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
