So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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