I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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