that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Small penises have feelings too.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Fuck me I smell like cheese
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
