What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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