Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
