5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize