Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
