her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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