Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Boobs speak an international language.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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