I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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