It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
