i wish starbucks made bloody marys
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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