Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
