Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
3 2 1 whiskey
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
