I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
