: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
