The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
