Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize