Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
