so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
