I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
did you just send me my own nude
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
