i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
