so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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