I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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