Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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