I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
