I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
