i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
