So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
