Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
