I just made out with a guy for $7.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
