he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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