You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize