I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
