Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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